That’s a great question, John. The fact that you’re thinking about how you ask tells me you already sense Noah might pull back if it feels like questioning.

Here's what often works: Low-pressure presence beats direct questions. After school, Noah's mind is still in transition. Instead of "How was your day?" or "What happened in class?" - which can feel like an interrogation - try being alongside him doing something.

Walking side-by-side (rather than face-to-face) naturally lowers the pressure. You're moving toward something together, not sitting across from each other. Teens often open up more easily when ther're not being watched directly.

A few practical moves:

Invite without agenda: "Hey, want to take a walk?" No explanation needed.